Say Less, Heard More

I learned a lot from my time as a basketball referee. It taught me to think quickly under pressure and how to de-escalate disagreement on the fly.  Humility and confidence were necessary, and I learned those traits are more interconnected than we give them credit.

I remember before one game, we were talking about the coaches and I distinctly remember my partner sharing something with me about one of the coaches.  He said, “The coach is really quiet, but if he says something, listen because it is probably something you missed.”  He was right.

Some coaches would talk or yell at the referees the entire game, and for your sanity, you would learn to tune them out.  You never knew what was important because it seemed like EVERYTHING was important. But this one coach, he would pick and choose when he would share some feedback or thoughts on a missed or ruined call.  You listened and took it to heart and always grew.

This is something I think about a lot. Often, the people who get the attention are those that yell the loudest and most often, but we should pay attention to those that pick and choose their spots.  If they find a moment to speak up, they usually have something from which we can learn.

• June 8, 2015 The “Sponge” Factor
• February 12, 2015 Feedback or noise?
• February 3, 2015 They Will Follow Your Lead
• December 11, 2010 Success
• March 13, 2011 More Than A Game

Source: George Couros

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Say Less, Heard More

I learned a lot from my time as a basketball referee. It taught me to think quickly under pressure and how to de-escalate disagreement on the fly.  Humility and confidence were necessary, and I learned those traits are more interconnected than we give them credit.

I remember before one game, we were talking about the coaches and I distinctly remember my partner sharing something with me about one of the coaches.  He said, “The coach is really quiet, but if he says something, listen because it is probably something you missed.”  He was right.

Some coaches would talk or yell at the referees the entire game, and for your sanity, you would learn to tune them out.  You never knew what was important because it seemed like EVERYTHING was important. But this one coach, he would pick and choose when he would share some feedback or thoughts on a missed or ruined call.  You listened and took it to heart and always grew.

This is something I think about a lot. Often, the people who get the attention are those that yell the loudest and most often, but we should pay attention to those that pick and choose their spots.  If they find a moment to speak up, they usually have something from which we can learn.

• June 8, 2015 The “Sponge” Factor
• February 12, 2015 Feedback or noise?
• February 3, 2015 They Will Follow Your Lead
• December 11, 2010 Success
• March 13, 2011 More Than A Game

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Taking a Break from Holiday Novels: Eileen by Ottessa Moshfegh

When someone hands you a book and asks you to read it so they can discuss it, you read the book so you can discuss it. This was a novel that had me at turns disturbed, disgusted, intrigued, and reluctantly cheering Eileen on towards a better life. 

Taking place in 1964, and told from a much older Eileen's lens, this is one weird ride. Even when I was completely grossed out, I kept reading--the writing is just that good. Tiny little details that keep you compulsively turning the pages. Are you intrigued yet?

Eileen is twenty-four, and living at home with her alcoholic father. The home is completely filthy; neither has cleaned the house since Eileen's mother died years before. Her father is such an alcoholic that he sits in front of the open oven for warmth, drinking bottles of gin all day, every day. He's a retired cop who still has some odd kind of respect from the hometown police force--a polite, turn your head away respect. He's gotten into so much trouble in his drunken wanderings that Eileen now keeps all his shoes locked in the trunk of her car so he can't leave the house. Eileen herself is a piece of work. A young woman who is so disgusted with her physical appearance, her life, and pretty much everything; she's such a wreck that it's a bit of a shock. She sleeps in an unheated attic on a fold out cot, and wears her dead mother's too big clothes to her job as an office worker in a boy's prison. Personal hygiene is out the window. As she says, she likes to "stew in her own filth." Ew. 

Christmas is just around the corner, and we know that Eileen's life is going to radically change on Christmas Eve. We know this because older, wiser Eileen keeps telling us, so the build up to what will happen starts pretty early in the novel. You are at times repulsed by Eileen, and equally intrigued, and see glimpses of who she could have been, if only her upbringing had been a little different; if only her parents had cared about their child. This is a study of a person profoundly damaged by their negligent parents--and for that, you can't help but hope Eileen finds a way out. 

You may wonder why the heck anyone would want to read this novel. I've got to say, it will grab you and you won't be able to put it down. Once you get past Eileen's very strong defenses, and start to see more of who she is, you become invested in her escape from her terrible, empty life. You see glimpses of an Eileen that is witty, sharp, and so desperately wants someone to love her. 

Read it. It's quite the change from my reads so far this month, but a good one. I recommend it as a great way to bust out of your routine book type--take a chance and read something really different. 

Rating:  4/6 for a fascinating novel about a young woman who aches to break out of her life and make something of herself, but had to overcome a lot of obstacles to get there. Brilliant writing. 

Available in paperback, ebook, and audio.






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Focusing on Individual Moments and Recognition of Staff

The best administrators I have ever worked for were always great with emotional intelligence, yet not always stellar on “policy.”  The former matters more than the latter because policies don’t matter if the culture in the building is subpar. Giving people the ownership and helping them find their purpose of moving things forward is much better than pointing them to a directive.

As we go into the break, I’m reminded of one of the best principals I worked for in my career.  We know that too many students dread the break because school is a place for them where they are maybe receiving things they aren’t outside of school.  The same can be true for our valued staff as well.  Don’t forget that.

Instead of buying each person on staff the same book to read to build the culture forward, this principal would buy every individual staff member a book that they thought would not only help them grow but was tailored to the interests of each staff member. I was always blown away by this because it wasn’t just looking up books on Amazon and buying them, but hours of getting to know the individual staff member on the team, reading books that he thought would appeal to them, and THEN buying them as gifts.  Obviously, this can’t be done for a staff of 500 (or maybe it can) but since we were a smaller staff, this was something that could be done. He would take an entire day to hand out the books one-by-one before the holiday break, hand them to staff, and just talk with them individually for a few minutes to see how they were doing and give them a “check-in” before they went their way before the break.  This wasn’t a “once a year” type of thing, but he always reminded us that we were family and treated us as such and it was nice to know that we were cared for as people first, not merely employees.  Ironically, that led us to become better employees.

As I get older, I realize there are things I once assumed everyone looked forward to, are for some, things some might dread.  I used to love going back to my hometown over the holidays, but after my father passed away, it was very tough and although my childhood home was full, there was a giant piece of my heart missing.  I looked at going home differently from when I first started teaching.  But that just one story from one person, while each person on your team has their own narrative.  Take time to honor that before the break, after the break, and often throughout each school year.  Educators are in the people business, and when we remember that each one of our students AND staff has their own story and experiences, and taking time to connect with them as individuals, it will not only make the work we do stronger, it will be done with a higher purpose.

• July 19, 2018 The 3 “E’s” of Building a Great School Culture
• May 22, 2018 3 Reminders For the End of the School Year
• June 28, 2013 The Prophets In Your Land
• June 8, 2018 “We can’t ask teachers to be innovative in their practice while administrators do the same thing they have always done.”
• August 9, 2013 This I Believe

Source: George Couros

from Connected Principals https://ift.tt/2R4AT1P

Focusing on Individual Moments and Recognition of Staff

The best administrators I have ever worked for were always great with emotional intelligence, yet not always stellar on “policy.”  The former matters more than the latter because policies don’t matter if the culture in the building is subpar. Giving people the ownership and helping them find their purpose of moving things forward is much better than pointing them to a directive.

As we go into the break, I’m reminded of one of the best principals I worked for in my career.  We know that too many students dread the break because school is a place for them where they are maybe receiving things they aren’t outside of school.  The same can be true for our valued staff as well.  Don’t forget that.

Instead of buying each person on staff the same book to read to build the culture forward, this principal would buy every individual staff member a book that they thought would not only help them grow but was tailored to the interests of each staff member. I was always blown away by this because it wasn’t just looking up books on Amazon and buying them, but hours of getting to know the individual staff member on the team, reading books that he thought would appeal to them, and THEN buying them as gifts.  Obviously, this can’t be done for a staff of 500 (or maybe it can) but since we were a smaller staff, this was something that could be done. He would take an entire day to hand out the books one-by-one before the holiday break, hand them to staff, and just talk with them individually for a few minutes to see how they were doing and give them a “check-in” before they went their way before the break.  This wasn’t a “once a year” type of thing, but he always reminded us that we were family and treated us as such and it was nice to know that we were cared for as people first, not merely employees.  Ironically, that led us to become better employees.

As I get older, I realize there are things I once assumed everyone looked forward to, are for some, things some might dread.  I used to love going back to my hometown over the holidays, but after my father passed away, it was very tough and although my childhood home was full, there was a giant piece of my heart missing.  I looked at going home differently from when I first started teaching.  But that just one story from one person, while each person on your team has their own narrative.  Take time to honor that before the break, after the break, and often throughout each school year.  Educators are in the people business, and when we remember that each one of our students AND staff has their own story and experiences, and taking time to connect with them as individuals, it will not only make the work we do stronger, it will be done with a higher purpose.

• July 19, 2018 The 3 “E’s” of Building a Great School Culture
• May 22, 2018 3 Reminders For the End of the School Year
• June 28, 2013 The Prophets In Your Land
• June 8, 2018 “We can’t ask teachers to be innovative in their practice while administrators do the same thing they have always done.”
• August 9, 2013 This I Believe

from Connected Principals https://ift.tt/2LojJXG

Focusing on Individual Moments and Recognition of Staff

The best administrators I have ever worked for were always great with emotional intelligence, yet not always stellar on “policy.”  The former matters more than the latter because policies don’t matter if the culture in the building is subpar. Giving people the ownership and helping them find their purpose of moving things forward is much better than pointing them to a directive.

As we go into the break, I’m reminded of one of the best principals I worked for in my career.  We know that too many students dread the break because school is a place for them where they are maybe receiving things they aren’t outside of school.  The same can be true for our valued staff as well.  Don’t forget that.

Instead of buying each person on staff the same book to read to build the culture forward, this principal would buy every individual staff member a book that they thought would not only help them grow but was tailored to the interests of each staff member. I was always blown away by this because it wasn’t just looking up books on Amazon and buying them, but hours of getting to know the individual staff member on the team, reading books that he thought would appeal to them, and THEN buying them as gifts.  Obviously, this can’t be done for a staff of 500 (or maybe it can) but since we were a smaller staff, this was something that could be done. He would take an entire day to hand out the books one-by-one before the holiday break, hand them to staff, and just talk with them individually for a few minutes to see how they were doing and give them a “check-in” before they went their way before the break.  This wasn’t a “once a year” type of thing, but he always reminded us that we were family and treated us as such and it was nice to know that we were cared for as people first, not merely employees.  Ironically, that led us to become better employees.

As I get older, I realize there are things I once assumed everyone looked forward to, are for some, things some might dread.  I used to love going back to my hometown over the holidays, but after my father passed away, it was very tough and although my childhood home was full, there was a giant piece of my heart missing.  I looked at going home differently from when I first started teaching.  But that just one story from one person, while each person on your team has their own narrative.  Take time to honor that before the break, after the break, and often throughout each school year.  Educators are in the people business, and when we remember that each one of our students AND staff has their own story and experiences, and taking time to connect with them as individuals, it will not only make the work we do stronger, it will be done with a higher purpose.

• July 19, 2018 The 3 “E’s” of Building a Great School Culture
• May 22, 2018 3 Reminders For the End of the School Year
• June 28, 2013 The Prophets In Your Land
• June 8, 2018 “We can’t ask teachers to be innovative in their practice while administrators do the same thing they have always done.”
• August 9, 2013 This I Believe

from Connected Principals https://ift.tt/2LojJXG

5 Thoughts to Improve Your Mental Approach as an Educator

Your lessons matter. Your strategies matter. Your relationships matter. Lots of other things matter too. Some of these things are in your control and some of them are not.

But in every decision you make, in every action you take, there is a common thread. What is your mental approach? Do you have a growth mindset? Are you an empowered educator? Do you believe in your ability to make a difference? Do you have a strong sense of self-efficacy? 

A person's mental approach to any situation has an incredible impact on outcomes. The choices we make determine our future. It is our choices more than any other factor that determine who we are and who we will become. I believe that's true for students, and I believe that's true for us as educators as well. 

1. Extraordinary results require you to expect big results.

Extraordinary results don't happen by accident. Just look at what successful people do, and you'll see what it takes. First, you have to believe great things can happen. Some people are hesitant to set the bar very high, because they might fall short. Others think about how much work it's going to take to get there, and wonder if it's going to be worth it? 

But if you're not willing to aim for extraordinary results, are you settling for less than what you're capable of doing? And if you're settling for less, are you giving your students an experience that is less than they deserve? You deserve to be your best too. Crave that which is not easily within your grasp. Dream big.

2. It's not lack of time, it's lack of direction.

We all have exactly the same number of hours in each day. We have the same number of days in each week. I've rarely heard anyone complain about lack of time who also wasn't wasting some amount of time every day and every week. The key is how we are using the time we have. Are you making the most of your time? Are you giving time to the things that will make the biggest impact? Do you know with clarity what's most important in your day? 

Choose to pour your energy into the things that will transform your effectiveness. You have to take risks. You'll miss 100% of the shots you don't take. What actions are your multipliers? They make everything better. They pay dividends into the future. Pour your energy into things that give the most returns. Find your true north and set your direction accordingly.

3. Be willing to let of go of something good for something great.

Most people reach a certain level of effectiveness, and then they just maintain the status quo. They get into a routine without continuing to stretch and push forward. Too often we are polishing the past, trying to improve on practices that are simply outdated or no longer effective. We're aiming to make things just a little better instead of opening our minds to new possibilities. 

Don't settle for good enough. Don't settle for teaching as you were taught. Our world is changing faster than ever before. So our schools should reflect those changes. We can't allow schools to become time capsules, when they could be time machines. We need to adapt and create learning that's relevant to the world our students will live in. 

4. See problems as they are, but not worse than they are.

I believe in the power of positive thinking. But positive thinking, in my mind, is not believing everything is okay. It's not pretending everything is great. But it is believing things can get better. It's focusing on solutions, not problems. We need to see problems for what they are, but not act like they are impossible to overcome. 

Some people focus their energy on blaming and complaining. They throw their hands up and quit. Their solution is for everything outside of them to change. But a different approach is to be focused on pursuing excellence. No obstacle is too big to stop trying. They believe that with hard work, determination, and the desire to continually learn and grow, there is no limit to what might be possible. 

5. One of the best ways to increase student effort and engagement is to increase your own energy and enthusiasm.

What type of energy are you bringing to your classroom or school? I notice some of our students dragging into school with very little energy. What's it going to take to shift that energy and get them going? Many of our students have developed habits that prevent them from getting the most out of their learning. Those habits won't change unless we as educators are intentional. We need to change. 

We need to bring so much determination and passion to what we do that students know, "This person is not going to accept less than my best." Lots of things can stand in the way of learning in a school, let's make sure it's not the attitude or enthusiasm of the adults who work there. 

What other ideas do you have for establishing a solid mental approach as an educator? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

        

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