Saturday, January 6, 2018

The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks & Sarah Pekkanen

Well.  I told myself I wouldn't read anymore of the husband/wife/marriage/insanity/thriller genre that has become so dominant since Gone, Girl (which I haven't read, but I know the story).  I read a few last year that were pretty good, but I was satisfied with those few and decided that there wasn't much more that could be done that would surprise or even interest me.

Enter The Wife Between Us.  I seriously underestimated this novel.  While I did figure out one of the big twists early on, there were a few other twists that I didn't figure out, and when they were revealed, I looked like this: 

via GIPHY


The story is told through alternating voices:  Vanessa and Nellie.  Vanessa is a mess.  She's divorced from Richard, living with her Aunt Charlotte in New York City, and is an alcoholic.  She works as a personal shopper at Saks and struggles to get to work on time and actually be present while she's there.  Her life is an unending routine of depression, sneaky drinking, and popping sleeping pills to conquer her insomnia.  She's not very likable.  She also seems obsessed with the woman who is newly engaged to Richard, and will be marrying him soon.

Nellie is a young, newly engaged woman who works as a preschool teacher in New York City.  She's excited and a bit nervous about leaving her job and her apartment to begin a new married life with...Richard.  He's nine years older, suave, handsome, and a big muckity muck who makes some serious cash in the New York financial world.  He is kind but controlling.

Vanessa, I wasn't a big fan for a big chunk of the book. I always have anger issues with female characters who let life rattle their cages so much that they become incapable of getting out of bed. I just wanted to shout at her.  Until I figured things out. Nellie certainly seemed very likable, but I felt sorry for her struggle to be herself while learning how to operate in Richard's much more sophisticated world. The issues she'd had in college that made her afraid to be alone and pretty much uneasy at every little noise made me think she just needed a good "put your big girl panties on and deal with it" kick in the pants.  I was wrong. I'd like to insert a swear word here: _______ you, Richard. You'll see. Just read the book. 

There are some pretty good twists in this story.  I can't possibly even begin to reveal anything at all, because I want you to enjoy the moments of discovery.  There's so much going on; I was constantly mentally apologizing to Vanessa and Nellie for thinking badly about them.  Yes, I was apologizing to fictitious women.  I will say, the ending is satisfactory, sad, and creepy.  The epilogue is a cherry on top of the sundae.  There are a whole lot of power struggles, mental manipulations, and just plain scare tactics happening throughout the story.  I know I'm being vague, but just trust me.  Read the book.  You'll enjoy it.  You'll especially enjoy the changes in Vanessa.  She finally walked past her fear and took control.  Bravo.

This novel will be for sale in the United States on Tuesday, January 9th.  Available in hardcover and ebook.  

Rating:  5/6 for a very clever novel about marriage, relationships, and the damage we do to each other. Fantastic--read it!
Thank you to St. Martin's Press for an advanced copy.

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Friday, January 5, 2018

The Risks in What We Don’t Do

One of my goals for 2018 is to read more books.  I read a ton of articles, but I have slacked off on the number of books that I have read in the last two years.  The balance I want to find is reading books that are new, but also non-fiction classics. I am trying to not only relearn from some of these books but actively seeking why these books have stood the test of time.  The book, “How To Win Friends and Influence People,” was first published in 1936, yet I only read it last year for the first time.  The ideas in it are timeless and influential.

The book that I have started with this year is, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” by Stephen R. Covey. I read it several years ago, but it has so many great ideas that seem to be common sense, but Covey wanted to make them everyday practice.  Common sense and common practice are not always connected; what we know and what we do not always align.

One of the things that I started thinking about in this book is about the risks we take in our learning and growth.  Below is how I see the idea of “risk”:

As I talked about this notion of risk yesterday with a group of teachers, I realized that “risk” is not only in the things that we do but often in the things that we don’t do.

For example, I am trying to focus on my health over the last few months (and onward), and have worked out harder than I have in awhile.  I have always gone to the gym, but how I used my time, there was not helpful. I would kind of float around and not break a sweat. Showing up is not enough.  But every time I get on that treadmill and push myself, I could fall off, injure myself, or whatever.  On the other hand, every time I don’t go to the gym, there are risks associated long-term with my health that I might not see now, but they are there.  I might have time to do other things if I don’t go to the gym, but will I do them as well.

“Risk” is not only what you do, but what you avoid to do.  They both have outcomes.

This thinking was sparked by Covey’s sharing of the “Time Management Matrix”:

Time Management Matrix

 

This has helped me to focus on how I spend my time and what it will lead to in the long run.  I have seen this used and have been familiar with this matrix for years, but for some reason, it is only making sense to me now. Where individual items go is based on the person looking at the matrix, but what matters to me is that I start sorting those things and focusing more on both where I spend my time, and how I utilize it.

This matters in our classrooms as well.  When I am asked, “Why would you change something that works?” My response is that I wouldn’t. If something is working for your students, that is what you want.  But does it work for all of your students?  Does it really work for the adult more than the learners?  Is there a better way?  Time is limited in our classrooms and schools, but we have more control of how we use that time than we often give ourselves credit.

Meghan Takacs, one of the trainers on Aaptiv (I love this app and might be a bit obsessed with how much it is pushing me), made the simple statement in one of the training programs, “The clock is going to do what it does.”  Simply put, I am focused more on how I use my time and what it will lead to not only now but long term. Showing up is a start, but it is not the end goal.

Source: George Couros



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The Risks in What We Don’t Do

One of my goals for 2018 is to read more books.  I read a ton of articles, but I have slacked off on the number of books that I have read in the last two years.  The balance I want to find is reading books that are new, but also non-fiction classics. I am trying to not only relearn from some of these books but actively seeking why these books have stood the test of time.  The book, “How To Win Friends and Influence People,” was first published in 1936, yet I only read it last year for the first time.  The ideas in it are timeless and influential.

The book that I have started with this year is, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” by Stephen R. Covey. I read it several years ago, but it has so many great ideas that seem to be common sense, but Covey wanted to make them everyday practice.  Common sense and common practice are not always connected; what we know and what we do not always align.

One of the things that I started thinking about in this book is about the risks we take in our learning and growth.  Below is how I see the idea of “risk”:

As I talked about this notion of risk yesterday with a group of teachers, I realized that “risk” is not only in the things that we do but often in the things that we don’t do.

For example, I am trying to focus on my health over the last few months (and onward), and have worked out harder than I have in awhile.  I have always gone to the gym, but how I used my time, there was not helpful. I would kind of float around and not break a sweat. Showing up is not enough.  But every time I get on that treadmill and push myself, I could fall off, injure myself, or whatever.  On the other hand, every time I don’t go to the gym, there are risks associated long-term with my health that I might not see now, but they are there.  I might have time to do other things if I don’t go to the gym, but will I do them as well.

“Risk” is not only what you do, but what you avoid to do.  They both have outcomes.

This thinking was sparked by Covey’s sharing of the “Time Management Matrix”:

Time Management Matrix

 

This has helped me to focus on how I spend my time and what it will lead to in the long run.  I have seen this used and have been familiar with this matrix for years, but for some reason, it is only making sense to me now. Where individual items go is based on the person looking at the matrix, but what matters to me is that I start sorting those things and focusing more on both where I spend my time, and how I utilize it.

This matters in our classrooms as well.  When I am asked, “Why would you change something that works?” My response is that I wouldn’t. If something is working for your students, that is what you want.  But does it work for all of your students?  Does it really work for the adult more than the learners?  Is there a better way?  Time is limited in our classrooms and schools, but we have more control of how we use that time than we often give ourselves credit.

Meghan Takacs, one of the trainers on Aaptiv (I love this app and might be a bit obsessed with how much it is pushing me), made the simple statement in one of the training programs, “The clock is going to do what it does.”  Simply put, I am focused more on how I use my time and what it will lead to not only now but long term. Showing up is a start, but it is not the end goal.



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The Problem With "I Already Do That"


A couple of years ago, I wrote a post Eight Things Successful Educators Never Say. In the post, I explained how words reveal so much about our attitude and mindset. 

Our words reflect our thoughts. And our thoughts often become our actions. And then our actions determine our destiny. The words we use tell so much about who we are and what we value. 

Words matter.

In that earlier post, I was thinking about things that I could never imagine hearing from a highly effective educator.

I'd like to add one more phrase to that list. 

"I already do that."

Over the years, I've heard this phrase quite a bit, but rarely if ever have I heard it coming from the most successful educators. Let me unpack the context where I've heard the phrase used.

After a teacher/administrator shares an idea they tried that worked in their classroom/school, a colleague replies, "I already do that."

After a day of professional development that involves learning about a practice or method, an educator boasts, "I already do that."

When an administrator or instructional coach suggests a change that might be helpful for a classroom, a teacher responds, "I already do that."

Often the phrase is followed by an explanation of ways the educator is already doing that practice. And it could be that the educator has done something similar, or maybe even something almost exactly the same. Maybe it's true.

But regardless of whether the educator already does that or not, these words seem very dismissive to me. It seems to imply that I already know what you're talking about, and there is nothing more I can learn from you on this topic.

Like many seasoned educators, over the years I've had hundreds if not thousands of conversations about teaching and learning, and I've participated in untold hours of formal and informal professional development.

And even when it was not my choice to attend the workshop or session, I tried to have the attitude that I might learn something from this. 

There were times that I didn't fully engage, but I always tried to take away something. Sometimes I even learned what not to do. We've all been to bad PD sessions or uninspired training. But there can be learning nonetheless.

At other times, I heard ideas being expressed that were very familiar. Some of the themes in education remain the same. It's been said there is nothing new under the sun. And at some level I think this holds true. Even our most innovative practices are built on fundamentals that might be familiar.

But even when I encounter ideas that are not new to me, I try to remind myself not to be dismissive or think, I already know that or I already do that. Hearing good information again and again is not a bad thing. It reinforces knowledge and ideas that are important.

And it can help us to feel validated and confirmed in the good work we are doing.

Sometimes I will share information on Twitter or even in my blog that may seem obvious. For instance, I occasionally share that "kids learn more from teachers who smile" or "every child in every school should hear an encouraging word every day." Sure, these are simple truths, but they are also important reminders.

Recently, I had someone on Twitter push back, "Why are you talking down to teachers? Surely you don't intend this for experienced teachers. Do you even know what teachers do?"

Sigh.

Certainly my intent is never to talk down to anyone, especially teachers. I have the greatest respect for teachers. I may be a principal, but I identify as a teacher too. I'm not teaching lessons day in and day out, but I always want to lift up teachers and make the teaching profession stronger.

Even if an idea may seem obvious, sometimes it's still helpful to put words around it and help bring it to the surface again, to make it fresh, to shine a light on it, to celebrate it. 

Some people may encounter even a simple idea and be validated, encouraged, or inspired. Others may encounter the same idea and think, "I already do that."

I think those are two very different kinds of people. Which kind of person are you?

Do you hear this phrase often? How should we respond when someone says, "I already do that?" Leave a comment below or respond on Facebook or Twitter.

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Sweet Tea and Sympathy (A Southern Eclectic Novel) by Molly Harper

I picked this novel out at my library and decided to read it last weekend while the temperature outside had a high of -10 (without the wind chill) and I went deep into hermit mode. I reluctantly left the house Sunday morning for a grocery run, and then returned, not leaving until Tuesday morning for work.  January through March, I prefer to stay home every night, out of the cold.  The bitter cold Iowa has had for the past week or so has made it even easier to just say "Nope, not going out!" and plopping myself on the couch.  I haven't even turned the TV on; preferring quiet and a good book. 

I recognized Molly Harper's name from the years of shelving romance novels at Barnes and Noble.  She's pretty popular, and has fun, paranormal romance down.  I may have even read one or two of her books in the past, so I was willing to give this one a try.  The subtitle: A Southern Eclectic Novel had me wondering just what the heck that was--does it go along with country sophistication?

I think I figured it out.  It just means you're going to read about a big family and a town that has some oddballs in it.  And yes, running a funeral home/bait shop is unusual.  Margot Clary lives in Chicago, and is a successful event planner, on the cusp of getting a huge promotion.  But then what should be a successful party turns into a disaster after the chef disregards her directions and serves shrimp to the crowd, not understanding that one of the big-wigs is allergic to shrimp in a horrible way.  Cue the allergic reaction, waiters tripping, fire starting, and media there to capture the whole disaster.  She's fired, and basically blackballed from the industry.  

Margot is saved by a phone call from her Aunt Tootie, living in Georgia in the small lakeside town of Sackett.  Margot's paternal cousins (and her father) are complete strangers to her, but she's got nowhere to go, and Tootie's offer of a full-time job and a place to live have Margot leaving Chicago for Georgia.  It's the typical big city girl moves to small, rural Southern town schtick, and there are no surprises here as Margot puts her foot in her mouth, dresses inappropriately for the hot, humid weather, and realizes she's actually working in the town's funeral parlor.  There is the hot principal that she meets on her second day in town; he's an intriguing guy.  There's Margot's difficult relationship with her father, who she hasn't heard from or seen since she was a very small child.  And there are the small town politics she needs to navigate.  It's a pretty formulaic novel with no surprises, but that's okay.  My only beef was that it seemed as if every character just had to be quirky and endearing in some way; I got exhausted and went looking for just a normal, small town character.  I didn't really find one.  But, I enjoyed the novel enough that I want to read the second in the series, coming out in June: Ain't She a Peach, which focuses on Frankie, Margot's cousin, the colorful and quirky mortician.  Yes, that's what I said: colorful and quirky mortician.

If you like to read light southern fiction with a big splash of romance, this is your cup of tea.  Or your glass of sweet tea.  

Rating:  3/6 for a light novel about finding family and your place, along with plenty of quirky characters and a small town struggling to survive.  I felt that there were too many quirky characters, and longed for just your average Joe.  I will, however, read the sequel, coming out in June.  Cause I'm quirky that way. :)

Available in paperback and ebook. 




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Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Revisiting #ClassroomLeadership

In 2011, I wrote about the idea of moving from “classroom management” to “classroom leadership.”  Here is a snippet from that post:

For as long as I have been in education, the term “classroom management” is something that has been in every evaluation form I have seen as well as a major topic of discussion.  In every element of leadership, there is some element of management but to paraphrase Stephen Covey, “you manage things, but we lead people.”  I don’t know any person that likes to feel that they are “managed”, but I do know lots of people who want to be inspired and engaged in the work that they do.  Leadership brings that out, not management.

Maybe the term “classroom leadership” needs to be more dominant in our conversations about teaching and learning.  The reality is that if people are inspired, they won’t have to be managed at all, they will usually just do great things.

A few things about this idea of moving from “classroom management” to “classroom leadership”:

  1. There are so many complexities of a classroom, and I understand the thoughts behind the idea of “classroom management,” but this is more about changing perspectives first on how we see our students and how we unleash their potential.  The strategies that have been used in line with “classroom management” are not all obsolete, but how often do we do something focused on short-term wins that lead to a long-term loss?   Do things like “rewards” for behavior lead to compliance now and complacency later? What about things like “sticker charts” and their long-term effect on our students?  This is not about throwing out the “teacher playbook,” but thinking differently about students and schools, and how if we want them to be the leaders of tomorrow, we need to empower them to lead in our world today.
  2. When I use the term “leadership,” I default to the Covey definition:

    I believe that this philosophy of leadership is not only beneficial for the teacher in the classroom but inspiring the students to do themselves.  This is not about developing the “one leader,” but about inspiring this same principle in our students.

  3. Empowered educators that have the opportunity to lead in their school communities are more likely to create the same opportunities for their students.  Administrators cannot expect one thing from their teachers regarding leadership in classrooms, but do something different in their practice.  Distributive leadership has to be modeled at all levels.
  4. Moving from “classroom management” to “classroom leadership” is not meant to be a simple shift from point ‘A’ to ‘B.’ The conversations will be messy, and there are no absolutes.  Again, this is about a change of perspective first.  Practice doesn’t change (or improve) if thinking stays the same.

I have seen the shift from “management” to “leadership” in classrooms, without necessarily a change in terminology. Teachers all over the world are focusing on shifting from engagement to empowerment and giving ownership to their students in their classroom. Or starting from a strengths-based approach, and focusing on what their students do well first, as opposed to where they struggle. These are a couple of the principles that are essential for this shift, but I believe that moving from classroom “management” to “leadership” is a whole paradigm shift that is necessary if we want to continue to move schools forward.  Again, Covey discusses the importance of shifting paradigms.

“It becomes obvious that if we want to make relatively minor changes in our lives, we can perhaps appropriately focus on our attitudes and behaviors. But if we want to make significant, quantum change, we need to work on our basic paradigms.” Stephen Covey

Our perspective should not be limited to what our students can do now, but what opportunities they can create for themselves in the future. The legacy of a teacher is not in what they do, but what their students do because of them.

Source: George Couros



from Connected Principals http://ift.tt/2COnAJc

Revisiting #ClassroomLeadership

In 2011, I wrote about the idea of moving from “classroom management” to “classroom leadership.”  Here is a snippet from that post:

For as long as I have been in education, the term “classroom management” is something that has been in every evaluation form I have seen as well as a major topic of discussion.  In every element of leadership, there is some element of management but to paraphrase Stephen Covey, “you manage things, but we lead people.”  I don’t know any person that likes to feel that they are “managed”, but I do know lots of people who want to be inspired and engaged in the work that they do.  Leadership brings that out, not management.

Maybe the term “classroom leadership” needs to be more dominant in our conversations about teaching and learning.  The reality is that if people are inspired, they won’t have to be managed at all, they will usually just do great things.

A few things about this idea of moving from “classroom management” to “classroom leadership”:

  1. There are so many complexities of a classroom, and I understand the thoughts behind the idea of “classroom management,” but this is more about changing perspectives first on how we see our students and how we unleash their potential.  The strategies that have been used in line with “classroom management” are not all obsolete, but how often do we do something focused on short-term wins that lead to a long-term loss?   Do things like “rewards” for behavior lead to compliance now and complacency later? What about things like “sticker charts” and their long-term effect on our students?  This is not about throwing out the “teacher playbook,” but thinking differently about students and schools, and how if we want them to be the leaders of tomorrow, we need to empower them to lead in our world today.
  2. When I use the term “leadership,” I default to the Covey definition:

    I believe that this philosophy of leadership is not only beneficial for the teacher in the classroom but inspiring the students to do themselves.  This is not about developing the “one leader,” but about inspiring this same principle in our students.

  3. Empowered educators that have the opportunity to lead in their school communities are more likely to create the same opportunities for their students.  Administrators cannot expect one thing from their teachers regarding leadership in classrooms, but do something different in their practice.  Distributive leadership has to be modeled at all levels.
  4. Moving from “classroom management” to “classroom leadership” is not meant to be a simple shift from point ‘A’ to ‘B.’ The conversations will be messy, and there are no absolutes.  Again, this is about a change of perspective first.  Practice doesn’t change (or improve) if thinking stays the same.

I have seen the shift from “management” to “leadership” in classrooms, without necessarily a change in terminology. Teachers all over the world are focusing on shifting from engagement to empowerment and giving ownership to their students in their classroom. Or starting from a strengths-based approach, and focusing on what their students do well first, as opposed to where they struggle. These are a couple of the principles that are essential for this shift, but I believe that moving from classroom “management” to “leadership” is a whole paradigm shift that is necessary if we want to continue to move schools forward.  Again, Covey discusses the importance of shifting paradigms.

“It becomes obvious that if we want to make relatively minor changes in our lives, we can perhaps appropriately focus on our attitudes and behaviors. But if we want to make significant, quantum change, we need to work on our basic paradigms.” Stephen Covey

Our perspective should not be limited to what our students can do now, but what opportunities they can create for themselves in the future. The legacy of a teacher is not in what they do, but what their students do because of them.



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